Bags

     More specifically, "would you like a bag today?" Alternatively, "would you like a bag for that/those?" Or even just "would you like a bag?" Sometimes, if the person is hard of hearing, it is repeated simply as "bag?" However I say it, I say it over and over again during my 8 hour shift at the thrift store I work. What I am looking for in reply is either "yes (please)" or "no (thank you)", or even "no (thank you) I brought my own". The polite addenda are not necessary, but they are much appreciated and these replies answer my question in the best way possible. However some replies to this question are not so super. 
     - "If you have one/if that's alright" - Of course I do/it is! I would not have asked you if you wanted one unless I had one to offer and had made peace with giving it to you. I have not yet reached the point where I snap and offer people bags just to say "WELL TOO BAD BECAUSE YOU DON'T GET ONE HAHAHAHAHA". And yes, there was a "yet" in there; you never know what will happen on a last day of work.
    - "Just a small one."  I'm sure you don't intend it to sound like you are insulting my intelligence, but you are. I am not so inept at my job that I will decide to put a single piece of clothing not in one or our normal bag-sized bags, but one of our large bags. In fact, I will occasionally put probably a bit too much in a small bag because I am loathe to switch to a large bag once I have made a commitment to a smaller one. The only time this is acceptable is if you only have a very little object and are inquiring as to whether or not we have bags smaller than the regular bags, but in that case it should be phrased "do you have a small bag?"
    -"Yeah, sorry but I do. [Some explanation as to why you need a bag, since you usually bring your own]." The sorry I can forgive because we are Canadian [I AM CANADIAN], and have a National tendency towards apologies. However, I really, really, really don't care why you need a bag even though you are super environmentally conscious and hate to kill plastic trees. I'm not judging you for using a bag, and I. Don't. Care.
    -That brings me to one of my most hated: "No, I'll save a plastic tree." This was a bit witty the first time I heard it. However, that was a long time ago, and it has not gotten wittier by any stretch of the imagination. It just makes me have to work really hard to keep from rolling my eyes and to keep my work smile on my face.
     - One I run into only occasionally in response to the bag question is "I don't care." This is a bad response for the same reason that it was a bad response to questions such as "would you like light or medium roast?" or "would you like to sit inside or outside?" The flaw in the response is that I CARE SO MUCH LESS THAN YOU. I just care about getting an answer to my question so that I can get you through my till and ask it to the person behind you.

     Thank you for popping by. Hopefully you enjoyed my slightly ranty and belated post, and hopefully you will stop by tomorrow for C. It may or may not be for Cookie, I hope that is good enough for you.